Guilt

I was walking my oh so spoiled pooch around the block without a plastic bag in hand, when, of course, a plastic bag happened to be much needed. This is ALWAYS the case. I think he knows that it's pretty funny if he sees I don't have a plastic bag with me to pick up his lovely excrement. So like any rational dog owner with a squatting pooch, I look around to see if I've been caught on hidden camera, I bend over and do the fake pick-up with my bare hand(YEAH RIGHT) and I quickly pick up the pace as to get out of the general viewing area as quickly as humanly(and dogly) possible. Now, of course, my paranoid schizophrenic side comes out and I imagine that I was being watched through the window whilst my huge dog left huge poop on this person's lawn. So what do I do when I get home? I grab a plastic bag and get on my bike and......................yeah.

I deserve a frickin medal.